something's wrong with dean
by love the world
Summary: Something is wrong with Dean he is acting very strange. I don't know what to do. Something is really wrong with him. I think he might break for better or for worse i'm not sure yet all I know is I have to talk to Dean. This is a slash story please r and r. Fixed so hopefully you can read it better
1. Chapter 1

Rated M You have been warned. I had it updated so hopefully it is a little more easier to read GOD bless

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><p>Something is wrong with Dean he is acting very distant. I asked him and he does his normal shrug and say everything's fine. Well I know everything is not fine.<p>

I mean I'm an angel and I could go into his mind and see for myself what's wrong. But I feel like I am violating him when I do that. No he needs to tell me himself.

I know sooner or later he is going to break. For better or for worse I'm not sure yet. All I know is that I can feel it in him and the look in his eyes, something is wrong and I must find out what it is.

The strange thing is he gets all pissy with me but not anyone else like I did something to him. But I have no idea what I did. I need to talk to him.

I hope it's figured out soon I need to go back to saving the world. I can't be dealing with this now. I just hope he will go back to the way things used to be when he smiled his breathtakingly beautiful smile, or the way he looks at me with those big green eyes that speak his vulnerability.

I only knew Dean for what two years now and I can see right through him but Sam knew Dean his entire life and can't tell, or just don't want to. Dean has a lot of baggage and none of its good.

He is always trying to be the protector. Always trying to keep Sam floating. But the truth is he's trying not to drown. He will always try to be the protector but whose going to protect him?

Sam's not Dean just don't let just anyone in. He's got to really trust you before he does that. But he never really lets down his guard.

He lets down his guard only to be squashed flatter then a pancake so he built a never ending force field that never goes down not even for Sam. I've seen him take down the force field sometimes but only for me.

We all know we have a bond that's so strong it even shakes heaven itself. Ever since I took him out of hell and burned my hand print in him I ache for him when he is in pain like it's my own.

These past few weeks I can't even look him in the eyes cause of how much pain and sorrow are in them. Right now he is drowning and the only way to free himself is he's going to have to let someone break his force field and show that he is a human and not just daddy's perfect little Soldier.

I rather have it be me than anyone else. Truth be told I am having feelings that I can't understand like every time I see Dean I can't talk and I have this weird sensation in my stomach like insects flying around.

I don't know what it is but I do know that I like the way it makes me feel. I just hope when I do talk to him he won't get to pissed off.

I will bide my time and wait to see if it gets any worse. If it does then I will try to talk to him to see if it gets better. If not then I don't know what I'm going to do.

All I know is I can't be around here much longer watching him wither away.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean's POV

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><p>Whats wrong with me? I'm so confused. It all started with a dream. Then all these feelings came. I don't want all these feelings to be here. Its just getting worse. I need to stop them.<p>

Its not right. He's an angel for pete's sake. I shouldn't have any of these feelings for him. I don't like men. Hell i run after anything that's wearing a skirt but I'm having these weird

feelings that I can't control. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want him to leave me but that's what is going to happen when he knows that I have unnatural feelings for him.

I'm so scared I'm going to lose him. But it is going to happen so why wait any longer why not get it over with. That's why I'm so ugly to him I just want him to leave already. I'm

breaking a little ever time I see him. It's only a matter of time before I break I just hope nobody is going to be there to see it happen. I know me and Can have a bond stronger than

anything I have ever felt. Ever since I found his hand print on my arm we've been connected. Hell maybe I have been feeling these feelings all this time and not known until that

dream. I feel like I am going to break into tears ever time something doesn't go right. but I will keep it bottled up inside because nobody cares to listen. I'm just so disgusted with myself. I just need him to leave already so I don't break. One thing I do know is that I can't talk to Cash is already asking me questions. Maybe I need to be uglier to him to

make him leave. I don't know. I'm so tired. I'm tired of this life, of these feelings. I'm tired of always keeping Sam floating. I'm drowning and nobody knows it but me. why should I

care that the end of the world is coming? I shouldn't because I already made reservations to spend the rest of my life in hell alone being tortured over and over again. So why

should I care if the world ends. But hear I am trying to save it. Trying to win a never ending battle. I guess I'm just doing it for Cash now. Cash has been risking his life for us all this

time to save the world for me. I need to return the favor and save it for myself now too or at least for him. I don't know what to do. I think I might be falling for him.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean's POV

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><p>We are at Bobby's house after getting the crap beaten out of us for three days and we are finally going to get a Brea- "Guys get in here I think you might want to see this." damn<p>

spoke to soon. I get up and yell "What do you want now Bobby?"

I start to walk to where he is and find him reading some old books. Probably how to stop user from getting out of his cage.

"OK I read all the books and it says the best way for him to stay in the cage is to not break all the seals but now that plan gone to hell because you idiots broke the last seal. But

there is another way to stop lucifer its to get all the dead horsemen's rings. If you put all the rings together it turns into a key for lucifer's cage. I don't know if it will work. what do

you guys think?" I say, "I think it is a horrible idea because we don't have all the rings and if we did how do we know it is going to work. I think its to risky to pull that off without

seeing if it really works." Sam stands up and says, "You know I think Dean is right. We don't want to go in there half cocked and find out that it doesn't work. I think we need Cash to

see if he knows anything about this." I immediately hate the idea and say, "I think he has better things to do then babysit us down hear after all we have been doing this all of our

lives unlike him." They both look at me with 'you got to be chitin me looks. Then Sam says "Dean I think he could really help us with this. Like you said we don't want to be wrong

and the key not work I think you need to send Cash down here just to be safe." Ahhh I hate this. I really hate this. "Fine whatever I will get Ca's down here to help our sorry

buts." Please don't let him come. Please let him be busy. Please. Here goes nothing. "Ca's we need your help please." I close my eyes and say a silent prayer for him not to be

here and open my eyes. I look around and don't see him anywhere thank the heavens. I say, "Thank gosh what did I tell you he is to busy to come down here for us." "Hello Dean."

I turn around and see him standing right behind me. I take a few steps back and say, "gees Ca's why do you have to always show up behind me." I hate this. I really hate this. He

says, "I'm sorry Dean I didn't mean to scare you but you did call." I roll my eyes and say,"Whatever, they need help with a key or something for lucifer's cage. they wanted me to

call you because you never come when they call." All he says was, "OK." is it just me or is he blushing? It might be my imagination. I go and sit down on the chair by Bobby. It is

the chair farthest away from Ca's. But of course Bobby doesn't do what I want he says, "Ca's I need you to come over here and look at this book." Great just my luck. Ca's has to

lean over my chair to look at the book. I go to get up but of course he's already coming over. What do i do now. Before i can think of anything he comes to my chair and looks

down at me. I look back up to meet his gaze. He instantly looks away. He has been avoiding my gaze for weeks now. I have no idea why. He hesitates before leaning over me. I

instantly stiffened and took a big gulp of air.

Why does God hate me so much? As soon as I stiffened he immediately froze. He looks as if he doesn't like this either. He starts to move again and my eyes go big. He's so close i can

smell his Ceylon. He stops and looks at the book. He says, "whats this about a key?"

They talk but I can't focus on what their saying I just stare at Ca's. Why the hell is he so beautiful. I like his dark blue eyes always knowing but always curious. I love his black hair I

love everything about him. He's so close but so far away. He doesn't know it but he's hurting me so bad. I can't touch him I can only look and its killing me. I start to tear up but

instantly stop and say, "You know what I need some air." I push Ca's away and practically run out the door. I don't know where I'm going to go but I know I can't stay here not with him

being here. I get in the impala turn it on and leave. I end up just sitting in the parking lot of a motel. Just staring at nothing.

Thinking about everything. I always do alone and suffering. Tonight I am sleeping here.

I don't want to go back and see all their knowing faces staring at me. I'm falling apart and I don't know how to stop it.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas's POV

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><p>I as in the middle of trying to find more demons to kill when I heard Dean calling me. At first I was going to ignore him but the temptation to see him was to great. I ended up<p>

behind him I guess he didn't know I was there but he said, "Thank gosh what did I tell you he is to busy to come down here for us." At first his words don't hurt me but now they do.

I always come when Dean calls always. I just say, "Hello Dean." He turned around and took giant steps back and said, "gees Ca's why do you have to always show up behind me." Its

not my fault he's always turned around. I say, "I'm sorry Dean I didn't mean to scare you but you did call." He just rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever, they need help with a key or

something for lucifer's cage. They wanted me to call you because you never come when they call." Its not my fault that I have a stronger bond with Dean then Sam. Wait why is my

face getting really hot. OH the flying insects are coming back. I just say, "OK" then he walks to a chair obviously farther away from me as he can get. Then Bobby calls me over there I

instantly want to tell him no just tell me from here but I listen to him and go to where Dean is sitting. I look down at him and see how uncomfortable he is. He looks at me and I

instantly look away. and ever so slowly i go to lean over him to Bobby. But as soon as I go to move he stiffens and takes a big gulp of air. I instantly freeze I'm so close I can

touch him but I don't even look at him. I go to move again and his eyes grow big like he is scared. I stop and look over at the book pretending to read it then I say, "Whats

this about a key?" I pretend I am listening to Bobby but I'm not I'm staring at dean from the corner of my eye. He's just sitting there staring at me do I have something wrong

with me? Do I have something on my face? First he looks at my eyes then he looks at my hair and is it my imagination or is he crying? No its not he really is crying. Then out of

nowhere he says," You know what I need some air." He pushed me so hard I stumble back and he runs out the door into the impala and drives away. We just stand there. I wonder

what happened. What's wrong with me to make him leave like that. Whatever is wrong with him is getting worse. I don't know why its directed at me. I didn't do anything to him to

make him mad or make him start crying. It must be bad if Dean Winchester starts crying in front of people. Damn I'm a angel for gosh sake's I should know everything but this is

crazy I don't know whats wrong with him or with me when I leaned over him I felt like I wanted to kiss him. Is that normal?

I never felt like this before. I need to talk to Dean. 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean's POV

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><p>For the first time in years I drank my sorrows away. I drank so much I didn't feel anything. Not one thing. But when that guy looked at me then made a move I snapped.<p>

I hit him square in the face. He went backwards and looked at his bleeding face and I said, "Fuck you man i'm not gay. Even if I was I wouldn't be doing you." He got up and said,

"Aha come on baby you don't have to be like that. I won't hurt you...much." Then he started laughing the most evilest laugh I ever heard. Then he came at me and I hit him again

but this time he didn't fall back he came at me and hit me in the stomach and the face several times before he was pushed back by a security guard. They threw us outside and

said not to come back. But that guy didn't lose a beat he got on top of me and started beating the crap out of me then when I was almost out he picked me up and shoved me in a

room and threw me on the bed and got on top of me. I tried fighting him but I was almost unconscious he started fumbling for his belt. and I finally snapped I screamed, "Cas please

help me please! Please Can I need you! Please don't let him hurt me! Cas please!" I screamed and screamed until the guy hit me in the face and said, "Shut the hell up nobody is going

to save you." Then he started unbuttoning my pants and i screamed louder and then something happened his weight was gone. I opened my eyes to see Ca's beating the living crap

out of him and saying things to him i couldn't understand. He kept hitting and kicking until no sounds came from the then walks up to me and says, "Its OK your safe

now dean its OK." Then everything went quiet and the last thing I saw was Cas leaning over and picking me up.

That's all I remember until 2 or 3 days later I woke up to see Cas on a chair right next to me. He looked at me and for the first time in weeks he didn't look away. I said,

"Hey" but it came out all wrong. He seemed to know what I was saying and said,"Hello Dean, how do you feel?" I just looked at him and groaned. I feel terrible. My head is

spinning and I think I'm about to throw up. Oh yup I'm about to throw up! My hand flys up to my mouth and I instantly turn away from Ca's to the nearest garbage can I can find

and blow chunks. When I was done I was exhausted and rolled back over and looked at Cas. Cas leaned over and I tensed up and he got 2 fingers and pressed them to my

forehead. I instantly felt better I sat up and Cas was gone. I didn't see him for a good 2 or 3 days after that. When I asked him to come and see if he can help us with a case.

Of course he came. As soon as I seen him I started talking about the case and why we need his help. After I was done talking all he said was, "Dean I think we need to talk.


	6. Chapter 6

Cas's POV

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><p>Me, Sam and Bobby were talking about Dean when I heard something. I said, "Stop. Something is wrong." They both said, "What what is it?" "I don't know but its getting louder."<p>

They both stopped and listened. After awhile Sam said, "What do you hear?" i ignored him and then I heard him, "Ca'splease help me please! Please Can I need you! Please don't let him

hurt me! Cas please!" All I said was, "Dean" and I quickly vanished I looked everywhere and I finally found him in a hotel room. He was screaming a lot louder. Then I realized some

asshole was on him unbuttoning his pants. Dean tried to fight but it was no use the guy was to strong. The guy was trying to rape Dean. His Dean and like hell he was going to

watch it happen. I wanked the guy off and said stuff I don't remember saying. All I remember was this rage. I was so mad I punched and kicked that guy until he wasn't moving

Then I looked over at Dean. He was still lying on the bed with his shirt ripped almost off and his pants unbuttoned and the zipper broken and his pants were down to his knees and I

whispered, "It's OK your safe now Dean its OK." and he was i wasn't going to let anything else happen to him not on my watch. I leaned over and gentle picked him up and then

he went limp. When I got back to Bobby's Sam screamed, "Oh my gosh what happened to him?" I said, "Some asshole tried to rape him and he couldn't fight him off because he

was smashed. All Sam said was, "OK put him on the bed and I will try to clean the wounds the best I can." When I went to lay Dean down he woke up a little and said, "Cas you

saved me." I said, "Of course I would save you dean I wouldn't watch you get hurt like that. I got to go now but I will be back." I went to leave and he grabbed my wrist and said,

"Please don't leave me." Then he fell asleep. I said, "I will never leave you Dean," and i didn't leave him not once. Until 2 days later when he woke up. He looked at me and I

didn't look away for the first time in weeks. I think he tried saying hey but it came out like a moan. I said, "Hello Dean. How do you feel?" He just let out a loud groan and threw

his hand up to his mouth and turned away from me and threw up in a garbage can next to the bed. When he was done he looked back over at me and I leaned down and he

instantly tensed up but I ignored it and put two fingers to his forehead and made him feel better. He went to get up then looked at me but I was gone. I didn't want to talk to him

yet let him rest a couple of days then I will talk to him.

We need to have a talk or I don't know what might happen for some reason he is trying to push me away. Not 3 days later I hear him calling me and when I get there he immediately

starts talking about a new case and why he needs my help. I patiently wait for him and the other two to get done talking then I say,"Dean I think we need to talk." 


	7. Chapter 7

Dean's POV

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><p>Great I have been avoiding these talks with him but now everyone is here looking at me I just say, "Fine Cas, lets talk." I walk past him and go outside far away so that nobody<p>

can hear us "talking" I finally stop and say "What do you want Cas? I'm to busy to do this right now." He looks at me and says, "What have I done to make you so mad at me? I

don't remember doing anything to you to make you this upset." I'm upset because you are so beautiful and so damn innocent . I'm mad at you because I can never be with you the

way I want. I'm mad at you because you are going to leave just like everyone else that belongs in my life. but all I say is, "Cas I don't have time for this I'm not mad at you or

anything just please let it go." I turn to leave and he grabs me by my arm and swings me around until I have to look in his eyes. I hold his gaze with pleading eyes but he doesn't

stop he just says, "Whats wrong with you Dean? I know something has been wrong for weeks now. I can see it in your eyes every time I look at you. Something is wrong please tell

me what it is." His hand is so warm I can't focus. All I can focus on is his dark blue eyes and his hand on me. I look in his eyes and say, "I can't Cas, I just can't." I pry my arm

away from him and walk to the house. I go up the stairs and before I open the door he grabs me and turns me around so I have to face him. I look at him. He is so close I can feel

his breath on me. We just stand like that for a few minutes until i finally say, "What Cas, I told you I don't want to talk about it please will you let it go?" He looked at me and all he

said was, "No." I looked at him and said, "No what do you mean no?" I shoved him away and he said, "Dean I'm not going anywhere until we talk about this. Why are you trying to

push me away?" All i say is, "Fuck you Cas everything is not about you." Actually it is all about him. I walk in the house where Sam and Bobby are and before any of us can say

anything he says, "Dean we still need to talk." I said, "No Cas I don't want to talk to you. I don't want anything from you. So drop it. OK?" He said, "No dean i will not drop it if its

not me then what is it?" I looked at him then looked at Sam and Bobby. Then back at Cas and said, "I can't Cas." He said "Why Dean? Why can't you talk to me?" Because you'll

leave me. That thought brought tears to my eyes so i looked at the ground. He walked up to me and said, "Dean please look at me." I just shook my head no. and he said,

"Please." and I looked up and he saw I was crying and he came closer and said, "Please Dean I need to know why you keep trying to push me away." All I said was, "Because your

just going to leave me like everyone else does. Everybody does it Sam, dad, Bobby, I can't do it anymore I can't lose you too but that's whats going to happen in the end when I

tell you...a sob broke my sentence. that one sob. in that one moment I broke. I put my hands over my eyes and criedand cried. I cried for many reasons for loving case, for dad

never loving me the way he loved Sam, for going to hell and torturing all them souls. Cas came to me and bent over and put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Its OK dean

no matter what you say I will never leave you." I just cried harder and said, "You say that now but I no you will everyone does." I looked at him and realized how in love with him I

was. He looked at me with such compassion and dare i say love and he said, "Dean I am not everyone else what happened to you? why are you crying like this?" and I told him

everything. I said, "Because I'm in love with you Cas. I love everything about you. I love the way your hair looks or the way you look at me with your eyes always knowing but full

of patience. I love how your lips curl when you say my name. i love everything about you. But I know I can't have you and its breaking me in pieces. So I have been pushing you

away because I knew that when you knew how I felt you would leave. So I tried to push you away because I'm dying Cas. I'm dying because every time I see you I want to say 'I

love you' or tell you how much you mean to me." I looked around the room and saw everyone had their mouths hanging open and had wide eyes. everyone except for Cas. Cas

was just looking at me with an intense look in his eyes. After awhile I couldn't take the silence anymore so I said, "Please say something." He looked at me and he gave me a very big

smile and said, "Dean I will never leave you. I don't care if you have feelings for me or not. But I do no one thing I have been feeling something to like I can't talk when you are

close or my face gets really hot when you smile at me or when you say my name or call upon me i get these flying insects in my stomach. And i feel sad and upset that you didn't

think you could come to me with this but I do know what to do to make it OK." He leaned over and I tensed up. He was so close I think I could feel his heart pounding or maybe it

was just me. He stopped when he was just inches from my lips. He looked at me and caught my gaze and he leaned closer and I couldn't take it anymore I grabbed him by his

gorgeous trench coat and smashed my lips into his. I never felt anything like it before. Can anyone say fireworks. It was breathtaking. It was wonderful. It was Cas. He pulled away

and said, "Dean Winchester I will never leave you." All I said was, "Promise." And he said, "Promise." And we kissed again. I don't know how long we were kissing for but it was

long enough for bobby to say, "Ahh OK you to love birds go get a room we have stuff to do." We broke the kiss and we both looked at bobby and said, "OK Bobby." And we left.

THE END

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><p><em><strong>so please tell me what you thought good or bad <strong>_


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